Less of this bullshit

I’m going to travel.  See the world.  Make friends, visit tribes, ride an elephant, everything.  I’m going to live.  Really live.  No regrets, no guilt, no jealousy, nothing.

Bullshit.

The truth is, I’m stuck in a job doing the same thing, day in, day out.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a good job.  I work in a hospital and care for a lot of severely ill patients.  I want to love it.  I want it to be my entire life.  However, I regret not making the most of my gap year.  I regret that I didn’t go to Australia when I had the chance.  I’m going to end up hating my job, hating my life, hating the people in it. 

Why can’t I grow the bollocks it takes to just say ‘Fuck it.  You know what?  I’m going to spend all my savings on a one way ticket to ANYWHERE OTHER THAN ENGLAND’.  But I won’t.  Not yet anyway.

This blog is just going to be me toying with the idea of running away.  Being so close to pushing the ‘book now’ button.  Me mind-fucking myself.  But maybe one day, hopefully, I will be able to grow a massive pair of bollocks and do it.

One day, I’ll learn to live.

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