“You don’t have…

“You don’t have to be dying to start living”

I have just watched Zach Sobiech’s story.  I am overwhelmed by his courage, his eternal happiness, and his effect on peoples lives.  I can only dream to feel the love and happiness he felt in his short life.  What an inspiration.

“When I feel co…

“When I feel confused or in doubt, I go fishing. I live off the land, and drink a bottle of red wine each night. All I want to do, right now, is sit in my garden, smell the flowers, and hold my wife’s hand”

One of my favourite patients said this.  He went home the other day to live his last month comfortably.  All I hope and wish is that he is sitting by a lake with his wife, waiting for a fish to bite.  Sometimes people have the most beautiful, simplistic ideas of life.  This man had one of the most beautiful souls I could ever had imagined.

Awkward Lift Experience

I like to think of myself as the Queen of Awkward at times.

Today at work, I was in the lift with possibly the most beautiful Junior Doctor I have ever seen.  I was awkward for a number of reasons, like I generally am with all attractive members of the opposite sex.

1 – I got hit by the lift door in my rush to enter it;

2 – I then pressed my finger on top of his to hit what floor I wanted

3 – In an effort to make conversation with this GOD, I started talking about how nice the weather was, looking around like the lift was see-through and I could see the weather.  This was very awkward as the weather here is hideous at the moment, and…well the lift wasn’t see-through. He nodded a non-committal reply then left a floor before me.

I realise this is a completely shallow and girly post, but all my posts have been deep and depressing recently, and I don’t want to seem like a bore.  I do have a fun side, an awkward side.  I give patients hope and happiness for the situation they are in. 

Sometimes, I feel like my life isn’t worth living.  Then I realise the patients who I look after would give anything to have the life opportunities I have.  So I’m going to live.  I’m going to live by what one of my patients told me today:

“Don’t give a fuck about consequences, just do what you feel like you have to do”

Dear Me…

Dear Me...

When will you learn to stop trusting people you assume are your friends? They will make you hate yourself, accuse yourself, make you feel worthless and lonely…they aren’t worth it. Why do you put your whole heart into a friendship only for it to fall through? You should know by now that some people just aren’t who they say they are. They make you think you can trust them, tell them your worries, your secrets, your fears. But you can’t, Becci. You can’t trust some people. Don’t trust anyone in future. They will all fuck you over at some point.

Stay lonely.

The Power of Love

The Power of Love

I don’t think I can express enough how much I appreciate my friends. Their support, their ability to cheer me up when I feel so low, and their love. They are the one thing I can be certain about in life. Friendship doesn’t have a end date. It really is forever.