I just reread my old blog posts, about how moving out of England would be the best thing for my depression, and I was completely right. I have never felt so carefree, never felt so loved by the friends I have made. Maybe it’s the sun, maybe it’s the frame of mind I’m forcing myself to have, but whatever it is…it’s working like a miracle.
I can’t lie and say there haven’t been times where I’ve felt lonely and depressed, but it’s expected. I’m not going to miraculously recover in a month, that’s unheard of. I thought I was going to reinvent myself as a nice, innocent girl, but have already slept with five twats over here. One different night I was dragaged out of the sea by a stranger because I was drunk and yelling at him I wanted to drown…but that’s the only time I’ve tried to do anything about my depression.
I’m being someone completely new out here though. I am confident, and smile all the time. People assume I’m a confident, happy person, so why not live up to their expectations? It’s time for me to start living life how it should be lived.
Surround yourself with happy people, smile always, and be completely chilled out. I wish I had known this years ago, so I don’t have the scars I do, but they remind me of how far I’ve come; of how strong I can be. This is life. It would be boring without challenges.