I ran away

Who am I?

I left my new home town, my friends who have become like my family, an easy job which pays well…I must be crazy. But at least my craziness has it’s reasons:

Why would I stay in a job when my manager has made it clear she won’t be giving me a good reference? Not because I don’t work hard, because I do. I try so hard to be bubbly and talkative to the locals, and I think a lot of them like me. But this woman, my manager, has been breaking my confidence. I told her about my history of self harm when I thought I could trust her. Turns out I definitely can’t trust her. She said to my friend that she wouldn’t recommend that she employs me, cause she wouldn’t again, because of my self harm. That is wrong. It’s disgusting. This cold woman also accused me of doing it all for attention. What a class A bitch.

So I ran away. Last night was the final straw. She has told people (again what I told her in sworn secrecy) about a guy I slept with and regretted, and when I say people, I mean the entire population of Croydon. And it makes me feel like crap, because the guy I’m regularly sleeping with? I’m actually starting to like. Just a little bit too much. So if he finds out, I’m going to feel guilty. But knowing the men around here, he probably just sees me as another backpacker to root. Which is also fine. But that slim chance he likes me? It gets fucked up. But anyway, I am now in Karumba, after running away and hitching a lift with a couple of workers who stopped in at the pub for a drink. It’s great. I feel shit for causing worry, but I had to get out or I would have taken the knife from the storeroom, and had a really fun night…

I’m all about distraction techniques.

But I have been speaking to possibly the best girl in the entire world back in Croydon, and she has been cleaning up the mess I made. Persuading me to come home and finding me accommodation to stay in so I never have to worry about the bitch boss. After all the worry I’ve put her through? I am so thankful.

Some people are pure angels. There’s no other words.

Spoke too soon

Silly me. Jinxing myself when everything was going right.

But what’s a few more scars.

I just need to keep fighting. I have my freedom over here so I need to live like I do. Don’t over think things, and don’t take life for granted.

I need a smoke, and a night with positive people.

I’m fine. Really.

Success, Becci. Finally.

You have let yourself love a place enough to make you completely forget why you have ever been unhappy. You have let yourself make friends with genuine people who will look out for you no matter what. You haven’t slept with more than one guy here, so congratulations! You aren’t letting the main cause of your sadness affect you here.

Who would have guessed that an outback town in the middle of nowhere would make you feel this relaxed and happy?

Keep it up, Becci.