How to treat a woman: outback boy perspective

1- To seduce a girl, a game of pool at the local pub works a treat. Especially if she can’t play, because you can then lean over her and get all intimate but none of the locals will guess you want to root her. Teaching a backpacker to play pool is a regular occurrence.

2- If you get a girl on Facebook, make sure that you don’t reply to most of her messages. Keep her guessing, and keen by using one word answers when she does message you. It’s surely the key of keeping a girl interested.

3- Score! You’ve got her back to your place after a night in the pub. High five yourself there, buddy. She likes to give blowjobs? It is your lucky day! Now make sure you give it to her good because after that blowjob, her satisfaction is key.

4- Ah so you’ve shown up to take the girl shooting? Good on you. Nothing looks more sexy than a guy in a sweet car, firing a big ass gun…at an ant bed. Hey, it’s ok. It’s not your fault all the pigs were hiding. So after showing off how masculine you are, time to show off how romantic you can be. Now here goes, the biggest rule: put the spotlights on, play some decent tunes and have a lie down in the back of your ute. Point out the stars, every chick loves that old line. Then give her some of the best sex of her life, because chances are, a backpacker has never have back-of-ute sex before. Then after that, make sure the battery of your car runs flat, because after an orgasm, there is nothing more a girl wants to do than push your beast of a machine for a push start. Then get her to bed at 6am so she is fresh for the day.

This is all in jest, all of these I have witnesses from the guy I’ve fallen for out here. The last point happened last night, and was hilarious, but I’ve never ached so much in my life.

All this for an outback boy? I’d do it all over in a second.

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